


The Maturation of Theodore Nott

by riane_b13



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Past, Bottom Theodore Nott, Dramione side pairing, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gay Neville Longbottom, Gay Theodore Nott, M/M, Nott Sr is the Worst, POV Theodore Nott, conversion camp, episodic, mini series, therapist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27670913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riane_b13/pseuds/riane_b13
Summary: So, tell me about yourself Mister Nott.”What can I say? I'm an only child. Heir to the Nott fortune. Philanthropist, Inventor. Quite the party goer if I do say so myself. Oh and Witch Weekly’s best smile 2002. Blaise was rather cross with me about that.””And what brings you to see a therapist?””Oh a number of reasons darling. The death of my mother. My monster of a father, but currently I've fallen head over heels for someone I'm sure hasn't even noticed me.””And why is that?””Because I doubt highly that he's gay.”
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom/Theodore Nott
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	The Maturation of Theodore Nott

_June 21st 2012_

_ ”So, what do you think about a nice dollie? Something with a pretty dress and soft hair like this one?” Neville asked, transfiguring the blank model plush into a girl with brown hair and a sparkly dress. Before Theo could even respond Neville wiped it to factory settings and frowned.  _

_ ”No no that's too stereotypical. I always hated getting sports things as a child and when my cousins would get flowers on their birthdays I’d be so jealous.” He nodded and reset the spell to a nice plush stuffed snitch, flapping its fuzzy wings lazily in the air.  _

_ Theo got a bit further out and was able to open his mouth before Neville continued, note opened, not responded.  _

_ ”No no you're absolutely right. She may think we just want her to be a boy and we wanted a son but all Mary Marget’s had at age six was girls.” Neville frowned and stared at the blank doll. Neville turned towards his husband, who had returned to staring out in the Welsh countryside before asking.  _

_ ”I don't know Theo, what do you think?”  _

_ ”Nev, she has all of these toys in her room waiting for her. And a closet of dresses, and a second closet of young master clothing in case she prefers to wear trousers all day.” Theo shook his head and smiled, grasping one of Neville’s hand in a supportive squeeze.  _

_ ”But Prim is finally coming home with us today. This is a special toy. It has to be something she’ll treasure.” Neville frowned deeply, turning his attention to the base toy.  _

_ ”What was your favorite thing to play with as a child?” He asked and Theo pursed his lips as the answer revealed itself to be quite elusive.  _

* * *

“You see, the problem with any question about my childhood, though I know it’s step one of your job, was my childhood was full of nothing but complicated, and more than a few depressing, events. It started from my very beginnings. From the moment I was born I was an absolute disappointment. For one I was late. I was to be birthed on June sixth and my father was going to do everything in his power to make sure my mother gave birth at either 6 am or 6 pm— whichever was most convenient to her.— 

The Nott family had been renowned throughout Europe as legendary dark wizards. And before you chastise me for saying my family was a bunch of evil madmen, the left-hand path causes no less harm than the so-called light magic they exclusively practice at Hogwarts. To be born with a 666 attached to you was practically a pass into any demonology track. But, as I said, I was born late, so without even breathing my first breath, I was already a disappointment to my father.

By the time I was born I wasn’t just a disappointment to my father, but to the entire Nott line. I was born at noon, on June 21st, the summer solstice. Being born on the longest day of the year was quite a slap in the face to a family that prides itself on being all about the night. Our family motto is  _ Nam quaecumque inventus est, natus est in tenebris _ , loosely translated, for all things were born in the darkness, and here I was practically screaming to be patroned by a sun god.

My birth was hard on my mother. The complications weakened her in a way I don’t think she ever recovered from, but she was still beautiful, and she was gentle. I can still remember brushing her hair in the conservatory, watching my father’s hunting dogs play in the gardens. 

Because my mother was sick, she couldn’t run around with me, and my father was rarely around to do so. Therefore I grew up a very stationary child. I loved reading books. I think I only pretended I liked being that traditional ‘roll in the dirt’ kid when Draco was around. That itself was another disappointment. 

The Notts and the Malfoys were long-standing rivals, though it was more so healthy competition than anything serious. I was born a few weeks after the Malfoy heir and was expected to spend my entire life trying to one-up him and he, I. 

Remember me being a disappointment? Well, that started fully with my friendship with Draco. Draco was the picture-perfect representation of a young master. Poised, intelligent, he liked performing for the ladies of society and was talented in the hobbies of the lords. Not to mention he was by far the cutest one of all of us, boys or girls. Lady Narcissa dressed him in shorts and suspenders till he was ten. He looked like a Cherub that flew down to earth. His hair was so blonde it caught the sun like bottled light and his eyes glittered when he smiled. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize I was gay when I’ve been infatuated with Draco since I was four.

So rather than be a part of the generations-long rivalry between our families, I idolized him. I listened to everything he said and was perfectly content with my place as number two. Of course my father absolutely hated the idea. My mother, bless her soul, was able to hold him back as long as she lived.”

The pen clicked and the woman who Theo currently called his therapist raised her head to face him eye to eye. “Tell me about your mother’s death.” 

There was a pause in Theo’s monologue. The first in the near forty-five minutes he had been there. Theo took a deep breath before continuing. 

“It was a beautiful day. Light summer rains and an early morning. Mother was sick for the past few days and I wanted to make sure she was well by tomorrow. My father hadn’t informed me just how sick she was.”

  
  


Theo paused his speech, lighting a cigarette, and taking a long drag before continuing. “My mother was beautiful till her last breath. Even on her deathbed, she wanted her family not to worry.

I didn’t realize that by that time the healer had said she didn’t have long. What is ‘not long’ in a child’s perception? My mother had gone through many an illness in my youth so I was sure my father believed she would pull through like always. When I went to go find her she was in bed. Looking out at the sun, her hair shining from the light that entered through a gap in the curtain. She was singing, I don’t remember what it was but she was always humming some sort of tune. Sometimes, when I am really and truly quiet I swear I can hear her voice in the halls of Nott Manor. She asked me to sit with her, talk to her about my day in the way that children can have an incredibly full day doing nothing. 

I wish I would’ve asked about her. Merlin, I wish every day I had asked my mother a question about herself but children are selfish and so I talked about myself. I talked about the new toy Draco got, and how Lucius had even bought him two so I could play along. I talked about a hiding spot I had crafted in the gardens that I really wanted her to see. I had relocated my hiding spot when I chanced upon a mouse family in the old one. I-I made her laugh.” Theo sobbed out and took a deep drag of the cigarette to keep his composure. 

“The laugh brought on a cough and she had a pretty bad fit. It was the first time I noticed how sick my mother truly was. I noticed the blood on her handkerchief. I was so scared. I wanted it to vanish, that telltale sign of her sickness, of what ‘not long’ might mean. I remember trying to produce magic to do something, anything. I barely produced a spark but my mother was proud just the same. It was a sign of an advanced wizard to be able to control their magic at a young age. I think my mother was happy she got to see her son use magic before she died.” The cigarette was gone at this point, and Theo put the bud out on the inside of his wrist, focusing on the pain.

“She asked me to take a nap with her, she just wanted some time to cuddle her little boy. I woke up a few hours later... my mother didn’t.” 

The therapist scribbled some form of notes on a pad when Theo finished. He was grateful she did it by hand rather than a Quick Quill.

“Mr. Nott you mentioned Draco Malfoy as an integral part of your youth. Tell me about him.”

Theo looked up at her and laughed. “You ever met someone and just know they were born to rule the world? That was Draco Malfoy. He was the king of any playground, the top of any class. He was the star athlete, the tall one, the good looking one, the popular one. Draco Malfoy was known as the Prince of Slytherin, but he was our king long before we entered the halls of Hogwarts.

“Before my mother died Draco was my best friend. After she left he became my reason for living.” Theo sighed and looked up at the ceiling, twirling his wand in his hand to keep his hands occupied.

“My father blamed me for her death. No, don’t give me any of your therapeutic bollox he’s told me as much. Said I made her weak. That before I was born she had never been sick a day in her life. I know he was hurt and didn’t know how to process the death of his wife and the woman who had given him his heir but you know, that hurts to hear from your dad.

So, Nott Sr. left the country as often as physically possible, and when it was appropriate I stayed with the Malfoys. Now they were the perfect family. Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy were a couple so overwhelmingly in love with one another that they are still my model for how I want my relationship to be. The Malfoy house was filled with music and laughter and parties. No one enjoys throwing parties more than Narcissa Malfoy and no one knew how to throw them better. Draco and I would sneak out of his playroom to go see all the women in beautiful ball gowns and the men in gorgeous tuxes. I was fascinated by how magical everything looked and I wanted so bad to be a part of it. 

I'm the host I am today because I want to relive that wonder Narcissa provided when I was a child. She made me believe you could stop a war, or cure a disease, or find true love with the perfectly planned ball. Narcissa’s done her fair share of those things in her time. 

The year we got our Hogwarts letters Narcissa threw a debutante ball, so to say, for all the society children. I remember looking at myself in a tux, feeling more like a costumed toddler than a young master and I saw Draco walk into my changing room. He stood like a leader. He wore the suit while my suit was definitely wearing me. He smiled and grinned and at that moment I knew the world would revolve around Draco Malfoy the second he entered those halls. I would be living in paradise just taking the scraps he threw away.

We probably looked adorable to the eyes of an adult though, when I think about it in hindsight. I think that was the first time I saw my father openly proud of me. Really was a pity that I wasted the second and last time he was proud of me a few months later when I was sorted into Slytherin.”

  
  


“Your families are very loyal to their Hogwarts house, yes? Loyalty amongst snakes I think it’s called.” His therapist mused. 

Theo rolled his eyes and continued. “Despite being wrongly stereotyped as cowardly. Loyalty is a pillar value of Slytherin’s house. The bonds you make there, are the most important ones in your life. Draco understood that more than anyone so he made precautions. 

He knew Crabbe through Lucius’ work and while Draco and I were still on the lanky side, Crabbe was already a very imposing child. Crabbe and Goyle knew one another through their junior quidditch league— Draco and I were in a different district— and he found his lackeys. 

Draco was smart. He’d make sure their grades were high enough to not be on probation, and they would be the muscle to back up his plan.”

“And just what was this plan? And where did you fall into it?”

“Simply beat his father’s record. Lucius was king of Slytherin by fourth year, Draco wanted to do it in three. I wasn’t a part of the plan, I simply followed my instincts. I had realized very soon that the closer you were to Draco, the more popular you became. Unfortunately, school had other plans for me.”

“Plans?” The woman questioned, looking up from her notebook and at Theo. “What do you mean?”

“I mean Draco is a man who has always had at least three schemes running at all times. He had a plan on how he would rule the school by third year, and it didn’t involve a skinny bookworm of a best friend.” Theo groaned, pushing his glasses up to his forehead and then pressing his palms into the sockets of his eyes in frustration.

“So he abandoned you?”

“No, not in so many words. I abandoned him more accurately. Jumping ship before it hits the iceberg. He had crafted this stupid persona, like a mob boss with his goons. Draco hung out with Crabbe on occasion but my father didn’t know his family. When he added Goyle to the mix it was like all intelligent conversation had left the building. They were Draco’s bodyguards and yes men all wrapped into a chubby adolescent package. We fought a lot, in our first year and by the holidays I was so mad at him that I didn’t go see him for Yule for the first time since my mother died.”

“So, obviously that affected you. You were on your own with new faces and in a new environment. How did that shape your schooling?”

“It didn’t. I naturally recluse without a social circle. I wasn’t a very boisterous person as a child. I’m still considered quite soft-spoken for a man of my stature and it’s given me more than my fair share of irritating situations. My active social calendar didn’t exist until I was sixteen. 

No one notices the skinny boy with his head in a book. I kept to myself because even back then I knew I was different. Kids can tell these things. I would have insane obsessions with my male professors and had no idea why. I would watch a quidditch match for hours and couldn’t be able to tell you what a single move of the game looked like. I would see girls that I knew were pretty, my brain registered that they were pretty, and yet I rarely felt anything emotional in response.”

“So then what changed your relationship with Draco? You obviously are quite close now. Did you reconnect over your time at school or was it something you rekindled during adulthood?” The therapist asked, setting the notebook aside and surprising Theo immensely with her show of informality. 

“Do you know the difference between a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw? Slytherins value loyalty over accuracy. We don’t care about being right if it’ll hurt a loyal ally. Slytherins may have a twisted moral compass but at least we have one.” Theo sat up from his position staring up onto the enchanted ceiling. 

“In third year I had another ‘flare-up’ as I like to call them. To think I had the delusions to think I was ill when I was clearly just attracted to these men. Well, one day I had a light bulb moment while looking at Draco eating an apple.

I blame Quidditch. Draco used to be incredibly thin, and all of a sudden, I was eating breakfast next to the sexiest pair of arms I had ever seen. I bet if I looked in my trunk you’d find some particularly embarrassing journal entries dedicated to Draco Malfoy’s gifts. He was intelligent, rich, and athletic. I swore to Merlin if Draco was good at anything else Lucius had sold his soul for this son.

In the early stages, I didn’t know if I hated him or had feelings for him. My undoing was when he popped into the dorm room I shared with Marcus Flint to ask if we wanted to head to the library to finish our homework. He had just gotten out of the shower and his hair was still pretty wet. A droplet of water fell down from his hair and caught on his lip. I swear the only thing I could think of was exactly what it felt like to taste those pretty pink lips. Draco probably thought I was trying to patch our friendship up, and he was loyal nearly to a fault. Meanwhile, I was much more selfish. I simply wanted my favorite piece of eye candy near me.

It got worse when Draco started trying to rekindle our friendship on his end. I had forgotten how amazing he was. My crush turned into something deeper. It transformed into a thing that felt like suffocating and no air at all. I was desperately in love with my best friend and he had no idea. It didn’t even enter his mind. I was confused and angry and hurt and so I did what anybody thinks to do if they really and truly need advice, they go to their father.”

“And how did your father respond when you told him about your orientation?”

“He said he would fix my problem. I was so stupid to think he cared about me. That he would help me and everything was going to be okay. I was an idiot to think he cared and—” Theo paused, staring down at his hands, that had begun shaking. 

”I’m not ready to talk about this yet.” 

”That's perfectly fine. This is your time and you booked a session today to talk about whatever you desire. Why don’t we skip ahead in time?” She jotted something down on the notebook before returning to Theo. 

”After the final time, your father helped you, as you call it, what was school like?”

”That was fourth year. He sent me away and when I came back Draco could've kissed me and I would've barely registered the contact. Not that it worked. I still liked men, I simply had a slew of other problems and a brand new accessory to wear every day.” Theo smirked, moving to adjust his glasses. 

”Glasses on children are often an opportunity to be bullied, how did your schoolmates react to them?”

”Oh you see when you're protected by the biggest bully in school it doesn't matter. Draco didn't see anything funny about wearing glasses. I don't recall him even making fun of Mr. Potter for his and Draco made fun of Harry Potter for breathing air. No, it was my newfound shyness in the dorm rooms that was noticed. 

”Shyness?”

Theo slowly removed his jacket and vest, taking the time to unbutton his oxford before leaving himself shirtless. His body was covered in tiny, purple scars, spider webs that weaved over his shoulders, chest, and back. 

”This would've caused questions. I simply said to fuck off and let them decide why I wore a long sleeve shirt to bed or would shower in the middle of the night. Draco noticed the difference and waited for the right moment to corner me.”

”What happened then?”

”Draco was curious as to why I had rejected his proposal to go see the Quidditch World Cup. We had never missed the event if it was anywhere in Europe and this was practically in our own backyard. 

Bloody bastard was always smart. He cornered me in my standard 2 am shower and saw everything. The wounds were still fresh then and the evidence that they were curse scars were much more prominent.”

”So what did Draco do?”

”It’s quite the tall order to ask a fourteen-year-old boy to have emotional maturity. We may not have been best friends but we were still the oldest friend the other had. Draco has always been privy to my relationship with my father and as such he was quickly able to put two and two together.” Theo laughed, lighting up a second cigarette. 

”It’s very easy for a fourteen-year-old boy to showcase anger. Draco punched a hole in the wall and threatened to kill my father, or worse tell his father what had happened. I always admired how Lucius Malfoy acted as a father because of the way he balanced respect and affection. Lucius and I would often sit and read in his study, or go for walks together in the gardens if I were ever to visit when Draco was out. I valued these moments where I felt something like real paternal affection. I believe Abraxas Malfoy, who had passed away the previous winter, was a similar father to mine and he felt some sympathy. 

For a moment I did consider it. Lucius would not have condoned that kind of abuse and would've done something, but I was much more scared of the backlash. I could handle my father’s abuse. Draco knew nothing of that and I had no desire to be the reason he did. Then Draco hugged me and promised we’d rule the world someday and all I had to do was graduate from this blast-it-all place” Theo laughed lightly. 

”Hugs were sacred things in the Malfoy household. Second only to the words ’I love you’ the Malfoys treated a hug with the reverence of a priest and the Bible, I don't know if you're Christian or familiar with them but they are quite powerful creatures, and their zealots are monsters of a different breed

Anyway, I have probably seen Draco hug someone ten times in my life after he was seven years old. To have two of those hugs be given to me was something I would always cherish. From that moment on we were back to being brothers. I was his right-hand man and he introduced me properly to Blaise Zabini and his then-girlfriend Pansy Parkinson. Daphne Greengrass joined our group later that year as Pansy was attempting to get either Blaise or myself to date her and together we had formed our royal court. Draco was king, Pansy queen, and we were the royal dukes and duchesses of Slytherin. 

It's rather nice going back on old titles and such. Before the statue of secrecy, the Nott family was part of the royal court. Draco and I are still lords in our muggle paperwork, but luckily we don't have to sit in parliament in this day and age. Could you imagine a couple of wizards making laws for muggles?” Theo shook his head.

”I was really happy that year, despite all of the emotional turmoil. I spent every holiday as far away from Nott Manor as I could and couldn't wait until school began. Though, that year was a nightmare in its own way.”

”Do you want to talk about your fifth year?” The therapist questioned him in a soft, tender voice. 

Looking at his watch Theo shook his head and began to redress. ”Unfortunately we are out of time. I'll have to discuss that at our next session. 

”Isn't that supposed to be my line Mr. Nott?” the woman smiled at him regardless. 

”Terribly sorry, but I'm right all the same am I not?”

”No no, you are. Tell the husband I said hello and that my fern isn't dead yet.”

”I’m sure Neville will owl you with praise post haste."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this for quite a while but I don't want it to collect dust anymore. No set update schedule as I want this to be really and truly thought about and taken seriously as anyone who knows my Theo knows that these themes are serious and should be treated as such. I hope you love it and I would love your comments, concerns, thoughts. Let's get to know this amazing couple together shall we?
> 
> Thanks to FendonCiadale for making this happen at all. I've been working on this chapter since September and without her it'd still be collecting dust in my vault. Give her some love and support okay?^^


End file.
